her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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