yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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