He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
