I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
