I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize