Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
