Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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