Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
