Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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