you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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