problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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