no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
