No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
