Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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