i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just found puke in my bra..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
