is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
