This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
