Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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