This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
