can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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