Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
