I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
