He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
