dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
