My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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