the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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