My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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