oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
two words...techno handjob
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
