Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize