The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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