weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
