That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
