I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
