if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she peed on how many people?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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