Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
