Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
