ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
