Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
