my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
