i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
