i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize