I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
