Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
