With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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