This girl is more easily done than said...
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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