i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
