i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
