my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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