Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
why is half of my head shaved?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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