i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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