He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
only you would photoshop your dick
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize