? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
