He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
