She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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