We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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