I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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