You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
