I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
