hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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