..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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