the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
