Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
