party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
