I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
pray to the hookup gods
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
