My friends, they love my intelligence
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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