he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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